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Mitch Berbrier's avatar

Wow. I sincerely hope that the author's experiences are idiosyncratic and not widespread. It seems to me she is mostly just describing her own experiences . . . but what if you are correct?

I have told my teen kids (who probably have access to plenty of such pornography, whether I try to control it or not) that whatever they may see in pornography on their internet machines has nothing to do with real world relationships.

And now you are telling me I am wrong.

I suppose it is because I am a bit on the old side that I can be oblivious to this (even if I shouldn't, as a parent).

On Cardi B and those songs: It does seem to me that the author is legitimizing old people's disgust at many of the lyrics of people like Cardi B and Megan the Stallion, and dozens of others. The idea that you have to be a Republican in order to be so disgusted may mean that the future of the GOP is far more secure than some think, as it can now be expanded to anyone over 50, of any demographic.

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Leo Barclay's avatar

Thank you so much for this. I feel increasingly alienated by the "sex positive" movement, especially the normalisation of pain etc (often accompanied by a lack of interest in the female orgasm!).

In fact, many women experience pain during sex at some point in their lives, but instead of raising awareness of how to handle this or when to see a doctor, we seem to have moved in the opposite direction and are further eroticising women's pain. If pain is supposed to be sexy, when do you know if something is wrong? This is especially true for younger women (and men!), who might not know what's normal and what isn't.

Also, since these trends are presented as "sex positivity", we're at a linguistic disadvantage in tackling them - no one wants to announce to a hot date "I'm sex negative"! But it's so important to talk about the impact of these trends, challenge our current ideas of "sex positivity" and normalise asking for what we want. We can bring intimacy back, but we can only do this by talking about it and being honest about what we want.

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